10 ways I’m a bad Portuguese man.


10. I didn’t marry a Portuguese woman.

 9. I moved away from Western MA.

 8. I don’t care about soccer.

 7. I don’t eat sardinhas or bacalhau.

 6. I don’t own penny loafers/wear penny loafers with no socks.

 5. I know how to use technology.

 4. I say, “Turn off the light/TV,” instead of “close the light/TV.”

 3. I do household chores like dishes and laundry.

 2. I will not name my son after me.

 1. I rarely drink vinho (wine), and if I do, I like white over red.


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