10 ways I’m a bad Portuguese man.
10. I didn’t marry a Portuguese woman.
9. I moved away from Western MA.
8. I don’t care about soccer.
7. I don’t eat sardinhas or bacalhau.
6. I don’t own penny loafers/wear penny loafers with no socks.
5. I know how to use technology.
4. I say, “Turn off the light/TV,” instead of “close the light/TV.”
3. I do household chores like dishes and laundry.
2. I will not name my son after me.
1. I rarely drink vinho (wine), and if I do, I like white over red.