10 Ways Having a Child is Basically like Owning a Pet
So if you’re childless, but own a pet (primarily a dog), you most likely fall in one of three categories. You’re single, you’re with someone but neither of you want kids, or unfortunately you can’t have children and the pet compensates for your loss.
You don’t have to listen to me because I don’t own a dog, and don’t really know firsthand what being a parent means…at least not yet.
But through observation, I’m pretty sure each thing on the list can be transferred to both your pet and your child.
- They’re costly.
Daycare, diapers, food, hospital visits, clothes, etc. can add up when having a baby. Now maybe dogs don’t need clothes or diapers, but the dog itself can cost a pretty penny. Plus, have you ever been inside a Petco? A rubber bone in that place can put you in the poor house.
- You can “train” them
You reward your baby and your dog by soothing tones and maybe a treat if they do something to your liking. You also teach them the wrong thing by using the word “no.” And don’t you think potty training and learning to roll over is no short of what your dog is expected to learn?
- Your social media blows up with the cuteness.
No matter if it’s your dog or your baby, you’re gonna be exploiting this bundle of joy with photos, videos, and cute stories. You’ll post a 20 minute video of your kid eating a bowl of cereal because you think it’s the most important thing in your life right now. There’s some people I keep on Facebook solely because they post pics of their cute kids haha. Secret’s out.
- They’ll test you.
When your baby drops something and you give it back, it is now a game. Your dog will never get tired of fetch.
- Baby talk
I’m not a fan of baby talk but I have to admit it tends to come out when I see little baby shoes/socks, but if you talk like an idiot to a baby, it’s most likely the same way you talk to your pet.
- Your world revolves around them
It’s not about you anymore. Sometimes your grocery shopping trip will be centered on just pet food or a diaper run.
- You kinda have to guess what they want
Both have certain patterns that tell you when they’re happy or sad, and their cries/sounds can signify what they need at that moment.
- They put stuff in their mouths.
Usually inedible things.
- They need attention.
They need you to pay attention to them or your couch is DESTROYED! They need to be constantly watched or else you’ll find an unwelcome surprise later.
If it’s your baby or your pet there is a certain unconditional love that can not be explained. Like, you love your mother. You love peanut butter cups. Your affection for your baby and/or pet is a lot greater.